Three Wishes

10 things B.A. has taught my little heart:

1. Food can be easily canceled out by wine. Hungry? Drink a bottle. Then you'll feel funny while you are getting lost on the streets trying to find your way home. Plus, it's cheaper.

2. If you are going to street fairs, wear a rain coat, or a face mask for that matter, because you will be attacked not only by small children, but grown men and their wives, with cans of shaving cream. They will spray you all over, including in the eyes, nearly blinding you, which makes finding the metro very fun.

3. A super pancho (or large hot dog) only tastes good with salsa golf on it. It is a mixture of what they consider "ketchup" which is definitely not made with tomatoes, and mayo.

4. If a man tells you he will make you a bracelet that will give you three wishes, and that you don't to pay anything, don't believe him. And don't let him kiss your hand, because he will lick it as well. Even if his name is Joaquin.

5. Letting the police break up your drum party in the middle of the street is only okay when people start imitating and dancing to the sound of the sirens.

6. Don't believe the Armenian waitress when she tells you that you don't need to look at the menu because she'll "give you a good deal."

7. Doble V is not exactly whiskey. It's more like rubbing alcohol flavored with whiskey. It works in the same way as mad dog would. Just picture that for a second. Oh, and you can drink in the street here. "That is a cause I can stand by." - Jenny

8. Babe Pig in the City is just as good in Spanish.

9. Turns out you can't get ripped off by the Bank. But you can get ripped off by the restaurant that told you the bill was fake in the first place. Except you really want to go back there because their food is so damn good.

10. Yogurt and milk come in bags, not cartons or plastic bottles. So what do you do with your milk after you open it? You put it in the only thing you can find.. a teapot!

Oh, and one more.

11. Argentina causes crazy dreams, like ones where I almost get arrested by a Republican Senator for standing up for gay rights at a Pep Ralley at my old Middle School and his dog bites me in the face and I go crying to my old art teacher, Mrs. Wachter, and then they put a tracking device on my Argentinian phone and I have to guide some people to a bar named "The Vine" and call my dad to save my life. And I have no shoes.


"We can't imagine the shape of our fate, that's for sure." - Dennis Johnson